it's been a rough few days with the blahs, then illness, and a tragic fire in a neighboring town that claimed 2 little girls. the girls were friends, one visiting the other, so two families are forever devastated and the community is surrounding them with love.
this has hurt me deeply, knowing the pain of the death of a child not thru illness but a shocking event. my brain goes to places it shouldn't, as a bereaved mama. i understand that parents who have not lost a child go to that place as well and it can hurt them deeply, but i get lost in it. it consumes me. i've heard all the tips i can handle, i don't need any more tips or hints or well meaning advice to get me to 'snap out of it'. i need to feel the hurt, to understand it and love it as best as i can. to treat it and myself gently and not try to brush it away. even though it's not a pleasant place to stay, it's part of me, and to love me i must love the pain.
so, i'm trying to be gentle with me if i miss a day or two here and there in the process of trying to make art every day for 30 days.
day 5 was when i wasn't feeling like getting creative but i went and got painty anyways. i didn't create 'something' out of the mess, i just let it be what it was.
the colors seem to be washed out in the photo. it's more fun than it looks. the layers are nice.
day 7 is my attempt at claiming my feelings as ok. i wrote down some words about the loss of children and then used oil pastels and india inks and a little acrylic.
this challenge is going to be a challenge if i can't seem to make 'pretty' things while dealing with grief. but at least i got it out of me so it won't fester. thats important!