Monday, August 31, 2015

cracking open, a canvas

well, my muse spoke with this canvas!  i had to blog twice in one day, because it came so clear what needed to happen with this one.  it blew me away.

this canvas was one i found for dirt cheap at the flea market, already painted, and only after i bought it did i notice it had a rip in it.  i was discouraged and it sat for a while.  it was taped on the other side so hadn't noticed at first.

today, after painting on it, layer after layer, the old tape wore off and exposed the bold gash.  again, i was discouraged.  especially after doing such a cool painting on it!

the rip is above the blue squares and right below the top left purple circle

as i relaxed it dawned on me that the layers i painted, the boxes and circles showing all the depth, was like the canvas was cracking open, and the rip also was a cracking open of the canvas.

i knew i needed to paint myself as a bereaved mother, cracking open, ripped apart, but gaining so much depth, so much wisdom, so much faith in something MORE.

i saw where her/my head needed to go.   a purple circle was in the perfect spot and had the right feel for how i wanted the head to be.  not too realistic.

i was scared to mess up, but i trusted it would be the painting it needed to be.  the symbology was already there.  symbols of my three biological kids, of my six kids altogether, of my five kids left, our eight family members before winter died...  it was all there.

i let go, and she poured out of the crack, the rip, the crevice.

the rip is in her chest/throat area

i may leave the rip as it is, or i may adhere a piece of cloth or canvas behind it to make sure it doesn't become more damaged.  it isn't finished still.  some finishing touches need to happen before i am completely satisfied she is whole in her own healing way.

i will update on this blog post when she is totally finished.

until later,

finding the groove

i'm taking a class and am watching artist videos on youtube, and i'm catching on to this playing-with-your-art thing.  yesterday i got started with this canvas, making sure to keep my colors in their own families to prevent the dreaded mud until dry.  creating these playful layers has gotten fun.  instead of overthinking which color and what kind of mark making i should do next, i just went with the flow.

"hello Flo"

wow, the lighting needs to be worked on!  sorry about that!

this is with more layers, and taken outside to photograph

i need to figure out this lighting problem if i'm going to get going with selling prints and such!  the first photo is more representative of the depth of the colors.  it is not nearly finished, i'm guessing.  a few areas are bothering me still, but it needs to dry and i need a break.

here are a couple more canvasses in progress;


so, i now have three new canvasses in progress, seven little chakra canvasses to finish, and maybe three others that i got bored with that still need attention.  hmmm.  i think i need an intervention.  but, when the muse whispers, 

until later,

Monday, August 17, 2015

the elephant, and a studio tour

my elephant really would not leave me alone until it was pretty complete.  he still has some finishing touches to him, but he is only whispering to me now, instead of nagging me night and day.  when i was not working with him, he pestered me!

i'm listening

so, here he is.  i'm resting with him until he tells me he is ready for my signature;

it's been difficult to get a good photo without glare.  he looks great in person.

and, you might have noticed the floor in the last photo.  yes!  my studio flooring was installed over the weekend.  my poor hubbys body can attest to that.  i owe him big for this!

hubby and son working hard

and some photos of the (almost) finished studio.  i refuse to wait for trim before bringing in my supplies.  the less necessary items will wait until hammering ends, of course.

my bead storage

my dads childhood desk

view from my work table

work table has storage in the back, too

front of work table

my painted brick wall

my stamp drawer

this one holds ink, stencils and other mark-making items

it's so pretty!  i even have a tv for youtube videos

i hope you enjoyed the tour.

until later,

Friday, August 14, 2015

the canvas that was a bust... wasn't!

my last post was about the learning process, and i think the biggest lesson i have learned from it was trust.  trust the process.  trust your intuition.  trust the canvas when it speaks.

this one spoke to me.

"i'm not ready yet"

at this point i was frustrated, because i loved where it was.  i was sure that i could not get a better feel from this canvas than i was getting right then.  

and then i got over it.  i again put on music and danced it out.  and it was good.  better in fact.  it spoke to me.  it sang.  it called.  it screamed at me.  i ignored it for a few days, just letting myself relax.  but it would not let me be.

"jenny, i'm an elephant!"

this canvas has elephant spirit to it!  i can't deny the fact.  and i need some of elephants wisdom in my life.  elephant medicine includes strength, commitment, confidence, and patience, all of which are skills basic for the building of my new journey and dreams.  elephant comes at the right time for me to utilize her power.

and, so, i found some old magazine photos, and started sketching.

he's already been thru several incarnations with the chalk, some of which i refused to photograph.

this is how it rests as of publication

and a photo of where i worked on the canvas today;

why did i work in the sitting room instead of my studio???  because i have bundles of flooring in my studio, waiting to be installed!  whoo-hooo!!!

before mark brought home the flooring, i knew i wanted to commemorate the new studio and express my gratitude for his existence in my life, so i wrote him a little love note in paint;

orm is a geek name of his, so i am mrs. orm

my wonderful man bringing me my flooring after a long days work

it's ready for the weekend installation!

hopefully, the next time i write will be to show off my new studio in all it's glory!

until later,

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

the learning process

today is a dreary, rainy day, and i didn't feel like doing anything.  so, i decided to get out my biggest canvas to love on.  i got some tunes going, lit some incense, and splattered paint while dancing my hands over that previously loved canvas.  it was joyous and carefree like i was with a lover.  i didn't care the outcome, i was inspired!

it was glorious!  the colors moved under my hands perfectly, in harmony with my feelings.  i fell in love with how it was taking form.  i gave it a few mists of water to get the paint flowing down the canvas and fell in love all over again!

and then i saw it.  the old painting coming thru.  i didn't cover it with gesso because i loved the colors of the old painting and wanted hints of it, if hints did happen.  what i did NOT want was for the whole painting to come out, my paint choices falling to the floor!  and as i watched, more of my paint melted away, and more of the old painting was left.  

i wrung my hands, the paint still clinging to them, crying inwardly over the slow death of what was to be a beautiful canvas of my doing.  as i am writing this, the canvas rests flat on the floor in hopes that it dries onto the canvas at some point, but my fear is that the old paint and the new paint are not compatible.  

what may have been another factor in this learning experience is that it is already a wet day, and with the water i sprayed it might have been just too much for the paint to stick properly.  it was already wet enough, i should have let the paint rest a little before attempting to spray it for the drips i wanted to happen.  it is a fine line when you want your paint to drip.  i have had paint completely dry up on me before i grabbed the spray bottle, so i have learned to go quickly if i want drips to happen.  now i know to judge the weather for moisture to gauge the dry time before spraying.

todays lesson was a rough one since i loved the process as well as the potential outcome, but i'm glad the process was enjoyable at least!  and, it is New England, tomorrows lesson may be to hurry to give it a good spray before the paint dries up!

until later,

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

heart painting progress

oh, i am liking where this one is taking me!

heres where i left you with this one;

and here are the progress photos so far;

it's not quite finished yet.  i think i'm calling it "let your heart bloom".

until later,

Monday, August 3, 2015

still painting, and an exciting studio update

i've been busy with a few projects since i last posted.  the first is a series of experiments on old wooden boards, just having fun.

i've also been playing with my backgrounds again.  this first one was dark and i just threw everything at it, not really worrying.

then i got worried.  but i finally sorted it all out

it wanted a poppy on it!  yay, it's not a lotus!

i dripped some india ink in the middle, but it didn't splay out like i wanted it to, only making a big puddle, so i raided my feather collection from our cockatiel and amazed myself at how delicately it painted.  i will be painting with feathers in the future!

and lastly i had this;

and i had an idea;

i wasn't happy about how bright the heart was so whitewashed it and added some white drips inside spilling down.

i like it much better now.

i may add a little message in the heart about love being worth the risk of possible heartbreak.  it needs to dry, and i need the right words.  i've seen heartbreak, and i tried again and found Mr. Perfect, despite my wounds.  he healed my pain, made me trust.  and i'm thankful for my previous wounds for bringing to where i am.  for all my wounds, i am grateful.  i am at peace now.  this painting seems a bit dark for me, and the message might be scary, but it's important to just TRY.  it might be the best thing you've done for yourself.  and, if it flops, then you have a good story to tell later.  after you've healed of course.

this got deep very quickly!

do photos of my puppies help?

pita pocket

miss lucy (aka ears)

OK, i almost forgot my exciting news!

my love ordered my flooring the other day!  it should be at the store for him to pick up this weekend or so, but he needs to put in the doggie beds first, so flooring won't start this weekend.  but IT'S COMING!!!

so, i cleaned out the studio, leaving just my easel, one little metal shelf next to it and my paints in their built in shelf.  i swept the floor, even.  it's, like, really clean!

if you look closely you can see pita coming down the stairs

those two cut outs by the floor will be where the dog beds are.  the upper cut outs will be more shelves.  i'm so flipping excited!

until later,