when i feel like giving up, you guys turn me around and remind me that it's all part of the journey. the ebb and flow of life, the times of floating on air, when painting seems so easy, and when it all goes muddy and i can't seem to paint anything the way i see it in my head. the days when i can't get off the couch and feel guilty and 'wrong' and not a 'real artist' if i'm not painting all day every day.
you guys help me pull myself out. every. single. time. thank you from the bottom of my heart.
so, whats been happening? lots!
our daughter got married, and i had to dress in something other than pjs or paint clothes;
and... i got my hair done in crazy colors
and feel so much happier!
i finished my yellow vase painting;
named "love, everlasting"
this painting is about love and loss. when you lose someone you truly love, thru death or a break up, you never forget them, they are in your heart for eternity. the love is still there, just in another form. thats why it hurts so much to lose a loved one. it's like the love has no place to go, so it stagnates and festers. yes, this painting is different than my others in that it's not very uplifting. it takes you to a sad place before showing you that love never dies. this one had to come out, though.
a title didn't appear to me so i had to do some thinking to come up with one. in order to do this i googled the meanings of red roses (immortal love, sacrifice, health, memorial, passion), the color yellow for the vase (friendship), the number 3 (the ascended masters are near, responded to prayers and want to help... also a number that represents my three sons). the freemasons have three roses as a symbol of a guiding principle. each rose indicates abiding 1. love, 2. life, 3. light. the rose is also a symbol of being a carrier of secrets. in tarot the rose represents balance, promise of new beginnings and hope, with the contrast of thorns that represent loss, defense and thoughtlessness. the major arcana of magician, death and fool cards each have a rose, they all hold strong meanings of balance. with all these thoughts on paper i came up with several titles that could fit, but "love, everlasting" was the winner.
and, the beginning of a series for me;
the seeker
when they start becoming 3 d
when you walk around the room...
good feeling!
the figure needs more tending, but i love the direction she is going. i want the background to have an unfinished feeling to it. she is searching her own truth, her path is not known, it's all very fluid.
this series of paintings will be of my personal archetypes. the ones who have come into my life, for a lifetime or a season. each painting will be a stand alone piece, but together they will be an important piece of work in my life. who knows how long it will take me to get thru them, and i'm sure others will pop up in my life. i am concentrating on the lightworker archetypes and not the shadow ones, out of personal preference right now. i wish to bring more light into my life and the lives of others, so i may choose to steer clear of the shadow archetypes (addict, critic, blahblahblah). i've been enjoying finding appropriate reference photos on the copyright free sites to stick together for a painting that speaks to me as the archetype.
and, thats what i've been up to since last i've written.
again, i wish to thank my supportive circle of souls who keep the positive narrative running thru my head. when my inner critic wishes me to jump ship, when i want to throw in the towel, i now ask myself, what would peggy say? what would lisa or kathy say? or char? would nancy want me to give up? and, my mark? what would HE say? mark has done nothing but support my passions in life, and he knows this one is my biggest outlet. mark would be pretty concerned if i gave it up. so, while painting may be frustrating sometimes, it's the best thing for my mental health, and keeping your loving words handy in my head keeps that fact registered as truth. i love you all so much.
until later,
jenny
